i'm pissed by charissa. like what the f*ck la~~~ my team won 2 out of 3 competitions and for the last competition, i went up to present our team's recommendations while she represented hers. we won and she cried out "unfair!" she had her own assumptions on which she based her reasonings while we had our assumptions and justifications for doing certain things and she isn't open at all. so fixated on it being unfair such that she wouldn't listen. just because she thinks something is, she's right while others are wrong. who is she to say if she's right while others are wrong? same thing for the argument about antibiotics. told her that one should finish the entire course of antibiotics even if one's well otherwise it will not be effective in future, coz the body builds up an immunity to it. BUTTTTTT she didn't see the reasoning. like hello~~~ i've been taking medication for like the past 11 years or so, almost on a daily basis. surely i'd know something about it right? during lunch, while we were discussing about how we were going to the airport, she said that it's wrong for us to take public transport. like wth la.....she's rich, she can go take the taxi. we're not that spendthrift so we'd rather go through a bit more trouble and take the public transport. We're talking about 45sgd for a taxi just to get to the airport. she's got like excessive baggage.....but ours isn't that bad. stupid. -.- can't talk to her. makes me boil. by the time we got to the company building where we were gona have a talk at, i was so pissed, i just looked at her whenever she spoke. she talked while i looked at her blankly.

i'm pretty mad at my chinese neighbour too. during one of the club nightouts, he said he had contacts in finland blah blah, could sell to shops around and stuff, but when i actually got the clothes n accessories, he didn't do anything. i'm DAMN PISSED LA!!! tomorrow, there's a dinner and i'm supposed to go. Char n him n 2 other guys are going. out of the 3 of them, i'm mad with 2 of them. should i go? i really feel like i shouldn't. it'd be easy to say i'm busy n need to study. when was the last time i felt so mad? i can't reallly recall.

mum sent an email advising me to read the bible or other books if i'm lonely because i tend to feel loneliness more acutely. i never realized that. i thought i was ok. i get into these moods of not wanting to talk, smile or be around people. but i never thought it was because i felt lonely, that i retreated further into myself, being away from all others. perhaps that's why so much conflict, as i saw it, arose back home.

i really yearn for someone. i miss touch and i want touch.

i've been thinking....how will my 21st birthday be like? I always think it's just another day. I dont want the attention (coz i fear there wont be anything happening) and yet i want something to happen. People have parties and all for their 21st bday. How will mine be like? I dont know. The neighbour is having some kinda party and i saw a girl like..mmm.._____ to her boyfriend. LIke some kinda bitch! :P yes, i am one too, bitching over here~ I walked a long way from my hostel along the lake, until i reached a farm! haha...
I saw sheep and then while walking on, a horse too! I found out that there's a place to take the hot-air balloon. walking along the lake, in the forest is just incredible. i could just sit there and just do nothing. oh man! i'm still in the state of inertia, not wanting to do anything. i havent been of the best of moods, not wanting to talk or mix around. something's wrong with me? maybe~

We had a feast during dinner. 4 dishes - 1 chicken, 1 fish and 2 vegetables. Great food man :) I think i have to buy rice to replenish the rice we eat. I can't just sponge off people right? Things are expensive here.

i went for a run too and while running anyhow, i stumbled upon the lake! haha it's a beautiful lake :) looks like the pasir ris beach, only more natural and prettier. serene and authentic too. i ran on dirt tracks with greenery all around me. few man-made concrete and cement paths. it's great! i'm going again tomorrow. i could go even in the noon coz it's quite shady. perfect! :)

More tomorrow. i wanna go sleep. it's 2am now and i finally found a church to go to. i hope it'd be ok. it's supposed to be an anglican church. char doesnt understand why i cant go to a catholic mass. it's just diff la..~~ cant explain.

We took everything slowly, not rushing.

Day2: We went supermarket shopping at Tesco, a place where we'd spend many hours. WE wanted to have a picnic, watching the sunrise so we went to buy fruits, biscuits n chips. i bought my shampoo, soap, conditioner, moisturizer, toothpaste,etc. so cheapo to shop in czech rather than buy in sweden right? hey! i'm a poor college student! Later on that day, we went to Vysherad, where there's a cathedral and a cemetery. i loved the place so much i went back there 4days later, the last day i had in prague. i watched the sunset on the 2nd time i went back, stayed there till about 10pm before it got too cold and i left. WE had pizza that day, 110crowns, which is like 6SGD. yummy!

Day 3: WE woke up at about 5am, dressed and walked along the Vlata river all the way to prague casttle. It's the most famous castle in prague, a major tourist attraction. WE reached there about 820am and the place opened at 9am so we sat down on the benches and started to eat our fruits - nectarines, peace and strawberries. The guards must have wondered what we 2 asian girls were doing. hahhaa... but hey! who cares? we were having fun. We kept walking all the time, walked everywhere. WE climbed a 280+ steps spiral staircase. Tiring but rewarding.

Day 4: Mala Strana Gardens. WE walked around the gardens and ...hee ...sat at the tombstone of a guy coz we were so tired. haha so we were there talking and sitting on a dead guy's tombstone :P

Day 5: Can't remember! yikes! i have to ask char! i tink we went to the jewish ghetto. interesting stuff. the jews really make money from the tourist. toilet was like 8kr when everywhere else charges 3kr at most. char's back was hurting from climbing so we went back to the hostel early. Went to buy bus tickets for the bus ride to Cesky Krumlov, the town where we'd go and spend the next 3 days and then i went to tesco where i met an interesting person.

Day 6: Had my last breakfast of "laughing cow cheese" and bread. i loved the bread n cheese so much. hee i have some in the fridge now. Left for Cesky, without really knowing where to alight. it's a small medieval town south of czech republic. it's part of bohemia. we took a long and ardous walk to the hostel. the hostel was bad...the room they gave us was on the first level and smelt terrible. i call it "animal farm smell". Even my hostel room seemed better. WE requested for a change of room. Albeit smaller, we felt safer and more comfortable. We had to pay the same price for the smaller room but still, we felt it was necessary. once again, i had that traumatized expression on my face whcih i couldn't conceal. Anyways, we left for lunch at the town. WE had czech cuisine, a medieval meal of millet with smoked meat and this other vege thingy. it was really really filling and we were introduced to a spice which we'd smell everywhere in that town and was included in the food almost all the time.

The town is quite well preserved and the atmosphere is like...mm...how shall i put it? Being in there made me feel like i was being transported to another era, a bygone time. WAtched "Black Light theater" which is an interactive show, where they use UV lights in a totally dark room. it's fun. Left the hostel at 415am on Tuesday morning - 22nd Aug, to go to Prague. Hee hehe.....we two loved prague so much we had to make Tesco our last stop to do all the last minute shopping. Guess what we got? Detergent, soap, latex gloves and other cleaning materials to clean our disgusting rooms. haha....oh! how could i forget we bought toilet paper too? hahha...we lugged it from czech all the way to sweden. quite funny. i was so embarrassed i refused to carry it. anyway....Bye prague!! It's a beautiful and charming country, more so than any part of europe i've been to, more so than stockholm.

Okay, to update, i've been to prague and back, and am now in stockholm, sweden, the place i'll call home for the next 4 months. It's so weird calling stockholm home. "Where do u live at?" and i go "amanuensvagen" when i usually go "pasir ris" haha~~ and i cant even pronounce the name! hahaha....

I left Singapore on the 14th. Meifun and Vivian, classmates from the korean class were at the airport to send me off. Joyce too. While Meifun, joyce n myself were walking to the toilet, i turned to meifun and her eyes were teary and red. i was like "hey!! u're crying!!" and she went "u la...make me cry..." what a sweetheart. heehe..i'm "tony-sshi" and she's "sumi-sshi". and in class, no one sits beside her coz everyone knows the seat beside her is reserved for me, and vice versa. :) Miss her so much. Anyways, joyce spent the night over my place helping me pack my stuff.. We packed till 2am and talked (with lights off) till 2:45am. It was so fun having her around. At least she broke the atmosphere of 'sadness' mum and everyone had. Mumn packed so much food for me and joyce went "aunty! adeline's going to sweden! not africa' haha...

I took SAS which was quite a change from the usual airlines i take. Snack came in a paperbag looking container with a great-tasting sandwich and chocolate and water in it. i thought 'mm...they're very environmentally friendly". Took me quite a while to get used to the 'alofness' of the air steward(ess). most of them are matured, not like the young, pretty and made-up girls of singapore airlines. after like 16hours of travelling, with 2 stop-overs at bangkok and cophengan, i arrived at stockholm arlanda airport at abt 940. I thought i was gona arrive at 840am or so but i read the timings wrongly. OH!! i spent like 6.5euros on 2 small bottles of mineral water. i didnt know how much it cost until i saw the bill. i was like !!!!! But well, i was desperate for water.

Charissa and i took a taxi to the campus. we arrived much earlier than expected but her buddy was already waiting. great! my room was dusty. i was quite upset at the state of my room. to make matters worse, when we went to the train station, we took the old train. the state of the train station was totally unexpected. i felt homesick almost immediately. actually, throughout the flight, i was thinking "why did i choose somewhere so far? what if i didn't like the place? i wouldn't be able to go home!" i guess i couldn't hide the distressed and traumatised expression and char kept asking "are u ok?" to add oil to fire, the lunch of about 60kr for a sandwich made me wonder if it was the typical price for something so mundane. that didnt spell anything good to come.

WE arrived at Prague about 8pm. I slept through the flight. I was feeling kinda sick - physically. better not tell my parents or they'd nag. but really, all i needed was sleep. char read up on how to get to the hostel. she did all the reading of maps and everythign else. i totally shut down on throughout the trip. i guess i was too exhausted from working throughout the entire holiday. When i work, i tink i can be quite a workholic. but when i stop, i completely rest. towards the end of the trip, i just sat at cafes for like 1-2hours and did nothing but look at people. and when i laid on the bed, i would fall asleep almost immediately, much to the astonishment of char. haha...